RED FLAG! NOT?

[Seema]

Cool pic, Maestra.

So, what questions do you suggest I ask that would not offend?

if i get a hinky feeling, particularlarly if i'm on the fence (is this real or not?), i come straight at him.

"do you understand that this is professional, theraputic massage?"
- i use this one when i think he's legit.
if he replies, "yes, i'm looking for just a massage."
- i say "okay, i just want to be clear about the nature of my massage business."

OR

"are you looking for entertainment?"
- i use this one when i'm leaning the other way. usually in response to some red flag.

some guys are stunned.

some reply, "yes"
i reply "i don't offer that kind of massage. i suggest you call an escort."

some reply, "oh no, not THAT kind of massage."

now you are clear, and so is he.

 

[Leah]

My policy is absolutely NO same day appointments for males. Period. I rarely accept a same day anyway because when you do that you're implying that you're not busy (in demand) and that sets you up for people to try to take advaneforum.xxxe of you. I keep a "same day" list from my client base in case I have a "cancellation" (which is Latin for no appointment for whatever reason) and want to fill a spot.

 

[qwerty]

I think this was a mistake and severe overscreening. Kiss the $65 good-bye. The guy should have been given a chance....I think he just lumped pleasure into feel-good relaxation...don't think he had bad meaning behind it. Even if he wanted something extra (which I don't believe), when asked about it, he denied it and said he was just looking for a massage. What danger did he present, since you were clear and he understood about the boundaries? I am bothered to by the assumption that males are liars.

 

[Pompal 09.]

ace88, since you are a client rather than a therapist, I think you have little experience to back up your claims. Nowhere was "all men are liars" stated - the fact is that some people do lie (male and female) and some people are looking for more than a massage. It gets VERY boring having to deal with this type of client again and again and one of the easiest ways of weeding out such requests is no same day appointments. Why people think they can get walk in massage appointments when they need to make appointments for physios/chiros/dentists/doctors/beauty therapists/etc I don't understand.

The fact the original phone call said he was not looking for anything sexual indicates he does associate massage with sexual activity - if you ring up a hair dresser asking for a clipper hair cut and they say they don't provide that stytle of hair cut, the immediate response is not "oh, I'm not looking for anything sexual", because haircuts are not associated with something sexual.

 

[Pompal 09.]

ace88, since you are a client rather than a therapist, I think you have little experience to back up your claims. Nowhere was "all men are liars" stated - the fact is that some people do lie (male and female) and some people are looking for more than a massage. It gets VERY boring having to deal with this type of client again and again and one of the easiest ways of weeding out such requests is no same day appointments. Why people think they can get walk in massage appointments when they need to make appointments for physios/chiros/dentists/doctors/beauty therapists/etc I don't understand.

The fact the original phone call said he was not looking for anything sexual indicates he does associate massage with sexual activity - if you ring up a hair dresser asking for a clipper hair cut and they say they don't provide that stytle of hair cut, the immediate response is not "oh, I'm not looking for anything sexual", because haircuts are not associated with something sexual.

melb, I agree, I am not a therapist, though I have talked with therapists I know well about such issues. As for the no same day requests, I completely AGREE! That is a good way to weed out some bad clients. However, your comment that because he acknowledged sexual activity that he associates massage with sexual activity - that's ridiculous! When he brought up the word "pleasure", perhaps innocently, it was the THERAPIST, who mentioned sexual activity, and he said that that wasn't what he was here for. He never brought up sexual activity himself. Any nieve person knows, just by looking through the phone book or doing searches on the internet, that there are massage therapists and massage parlors, a big difference. They know that there are massage people who perform sexual massages (I've never had one). One doesn't have to be thinking this to know this.

Now, perhaps the original therapist had OTHER reasons for denying the client, but on it's face value by what was said, I don't think she should have.