Review:C.S.I. Toronto - "The Leilani Effect"

[orly]

And I want you to know
I'm still good to go
I ain't the settin' sun
But I can get the job done
Here I am, I'm on the scene
Yes I am, I'm on the scene



The Toronto C.S.I. unit has been summoned to 392 Gibraltar drive to investigate the death of a slider. The victim is lying on the table with a huge grin on his face. In the room starting their investigation are 3 members of the C.S.I. team: Gil Jism, Pussy Willows, and Sara Slide. Also in the room is a petite, very attractive, and sexy Mpa named Leilani.

Jism: It's very dark in this room, can we turn the lights up in here miss, Leilani is it?

Leilani: I would advise against turning the light up too high Mr. Jism.

Jism: Do you have something to hide ?

Leilani: Not at all, it's just that... well... he doesn't look so good in the bright light.

Willows: We are highly trained scientists who have seen it all, there is nothing that can shock us. Turn the lights up please so we can do our investigation.

Leilani turns the lights up, and several audible gasps can be heard from the team.

Jism: Damn that's a scary looking dude. Willows let's start the examination of the victims body, Slide you search the rest of the room for evidence.

Willows: The victim has what appears to be some jism on him,and some large, circular bruises on him. Was there some sort of altercation that took place during the session?

Leilani: No there wasn't, but I can explain the bruising. Due to the scary appearance of this dude, some of the girls would only touch him with a ten foot pole. I believe in a hands on approach so I didn't use the pole.

Jism: You are a true professional Leilani. I don't see any visible signs of foul play to explain his cause of death, tell me what Happ..

Slide: JISM! JISM!

Jism: What is it slide?

Slide: No No not you, I found jism over here on this magazine on the floor by the chair. Could there possibly have been a second shooter?

Leilani: I can explain that. As I entered the room he was sitting in the chair with that magazine, and he was um... slapping it. I think I startled him when I walked in, as he groaned and then slumped in his chair. He told me he was doing a pre-battle check of his weapon and the sight of me caused his weapon to misfire.

Slide: He turned Janet Jackson into a got milk spokeswoman in that magazine there.

Jism: Slide go take a look inside the victims vehicle to see if maybe there is some sort of heart medication to help explain his sudden demise. The management said it is the golf cart with a "I brake for chicas" bumper sticker parked outside. Now as I was saying Leilani, tell me what happened during the session.

Willows: Jism I think she should demonstrate on you what happened so we can see for ourselves if there was any foul play involved.

Jism: I like the way you think Willows. In the interest of science I'll do it.

Jism quickly disrobes, rolls the victims body off the table onto the floor and it lands with a loud thud, and lies on the table face down. Leilani then takes her clothes off, revealing a very toned, petite body. She starts massaging his body with a firm and sensual touch, working it all over. She then gets on the table on top of him, continuing to massage him. Leilani then slithers over his body in a snakelike fashion, issuing some subtle,gentle kisses on his body, and he gazes into the mirror as she is doing this, enjoying the view of her body. She gazes into the mirror too,and flashes a mischievous smile.

She then asks him if he would like to massage her for awhile and he readily agrees. He rubs some lotion over her and marvels at her sexy little body. She enjoys being massaged, and encourages him to massage her "weakspot", her cute little butt.

She then tells him to lye back down on the table, and he lies back down, face up. She then switches from lotion to oil for the front. She gets back on the table on top of him and starts the roller coaster ride. She slithers like a snake on him again with that wicked smile. She works on his weapon with a variety of speeds and touches. She spins around to present a glorious view of the sun and the moon, and he is allowed to be an astronaut and do some exploration, and the exploration of the moon is enjoyed by both. They continue in this manner until he can take it no longer and as he releases the hounds he blurts out"Manhunter is an underrated movie".

After several minutes Jism regains his senses.

Jism: That was wonderful. There was nothing out of mp limits that occurred, so we can rule foul play out. Did the victim say anything that might indicate he was having trouble before he collapsed.

Leilani: He said as he ... you know.. finished .. was "Forgive me Chiquita".

Jism: I wonder who Chiquita is?

Slide enters the room again as Jism is speaking

Slide: I think I can answer that.

Slide is carrying an inflatable doll dressed in a taco bell uniform with a Chiquita name tag.

Slide: I did a quick preliminary investigation of Chiquita here and judging by how worn out her ass is, I would say that our victim here did not like to think outside her buns.

Jism: Did he say anything else Leilani.

Leilani: Yes. He said "tell them I would repeat" and then went limp.

Jism: Thanks for your time Leilani. I think that we can rule this death accidental with the cause of death being death by sliding.


www.alluremassage.ca

40 min = 50
VIP= 100

inflatable chica love= priceless

 

[Lindsay]

Well done! Very tasteful. (she's not fan of reviews, doubt she have a problem with this well written piece)

 

[jonathan.moreno14]

Err, dude. Shouldn't there be rule on this board setting out the minumum "information to verbiage ratio" content?

 

[Cheese]

Thanks for the laugh!

Soon you'll be writing for Penthouse:

" I never used to believe massageplanet.net reviews, until the following happened at Allure one evening ...."



I haven't seen Leilani professionally, although I spotted her in the flesh a couple of years ago. After a fantastic session recently with Serena @ HFH, I'd like to sample some other Asian delights!



... but I also can't wait for a repeat session with Serena. Too many hot babes not enough $$$$$.

 

[Metallic]

GD, This review is one Hilarious piece of masterwork.

You did it once again. Should consider dropping the clubs and picking the pen(Or i mean the Type writer......OOps ! I mean the Keyboard.

 

[packard1963]

Good job GD,

When I first started reading it, I was worried that it was going to be about necrophilia.

 

[Jedimaster]

As funny as always GD.

x

 

[michelehoodlmt]

Dude, that's talent. Nice review.

 

[wc206003]

Nicely done, GD.

AC

 

[Pompal 09.]

That's the best and most enjoyable review I've read in a long time. Thanks. Of course, I have been idle for some time now and this is my first visit to massageplanet.net in a long time. What a homecoming.....

 

[Golf]

Maybe you could start a cliff notes section for those who are not capable of reading more than a couple of sentences.

I think a better rule to propose would be the "review to non-review post ratio".

Of course that would mean the ratio of members in compliance to members in non-compliance would be quite high.

This in turn would increase the ratio of members who were unhappy to happy significantly.

This would then spur the non-reviewing members to become reviewing members, increasing the ratio of reviewing to non-reviewing members.

This in turn would make the various mps busier as they are flooded with massageplanet.netites eager to increase their review to non-review ratio.

This in turn would increase the ratio of happy to unhappy mpas as they are busy with reviewing massageplanet.netites.

This would in turn would create more mpas with disposable income, thus increasing the ratio of cash laden to non cash laden mpas.

These mpas with their new found wealth would then spend that money in various ways throughout the gta, thus sparking the economy.

I guess what you are really saying Oagre is that you have a brilliant idea to jump start the local economy. Well done sir.

 

[I feel better]

GD, excellent review/story! i only hope CSI will pick this up and do a real show on your script! hehe

 

[Bell Bell]

I echo the positive comments of the other members.

Nice to see that you have elevated your game ... the inflatable chicita love part almost made me ROTFLMAO !!!

VBB

 

[toto]

GD, excellent review!!!!
Love the prose and the info.
Keep up the good work....maybe there's a Pulitzer in the offing.
Max

 

[Pompal 09.]

Can your next review incorporate Dog the Bounty Hunter. Just leave Dog's wife Beth out of it...unless she's your type of gal.