some corny jokes

[wazapoq]

The first one gave me a good laugh.

 

[M1911/HKP7]

[/CENTER]

TOO LONG THRASH! TOO LONG! I cant believe I read it all.......only number 1 was funny. I heard number 2 before.​

​

 

[Caboose]

uhhh yeah.............can someone gouge my eyes out

 

[Zach Will]

**A blind man was seen waiting at a street corner with his guide dog. After a short wait the dog started leading the blind man across the street against the red light.

First a car comes screeching to a halt inches away from him, but still the dog leads on, then a bicyclist almost wipes them out and curses as he goes by. Finally in the last lane a truck swerves and barely misses them.

After they reach the far corner the blind man reaches in his pocket and pulls out a cookie and offers it to the guide dog. At this point another person who has watched the entire episode interrupts asking why he was rewarding the dog after the dog had endangered his life and almost got him run over by a car, bicycle and truck.

The blind man responded: "I'm not rewarding him, I'm just trying to find out which end is his head so I can kick him in the ass."


**An office manager had money problems & had to fire an employee, either Jack or Jill.

He thought he'd fire the employee who came late to work the next morning. Well, both employees came to work very early.

Then the manager thought he would catch the first one who took a coffee break. Unfortunately, neither employee took a coffee break.

Then the manager decided to see who took the longest lunch break - strangely, neither Jack nor Jill took a lunch break that day, they both ate at their desk.

Then the manager thought he'd wait & see who would leave work the earliest, and both employees stayed until after closing. Jill finally went to the coat rack so the manager thought he would simply be honest and ask her advice.

He went up to her and said, "Jill, I have a terrible problem. I don't know whether to lay you or Jack off." Jill said, "Well, you'd better jack off - I'm late for my bus."


**Two people applied for a position in a highly paid job. They both had very good references. Both were harvard graduates in the same degree and both had great records.
In order to choose which to hire they were both asked to take a simple test. Both applicants got one question wrong. Thier boss pulls in applicant #2 and says "I am afraid you didn't get the job."
Applicant #2 obviously confused by the choice asks "well why not."
"you both got the same score on the test."
"well how does that affect me?" he asks still clearly confused.
"Because when you both answered question 12 you both got it wrong." At that point he pulls out the test papers and shows them to applicant #2. On question twelve he pointed to Applicant #1's answer of "I don't know" and then he pointed to applicant #2's answer of "what he said".​