the legendary Lucy

[Captain Malcolm Reynolds]

The reason Lucy has such ageless and perfect skin is due to years of repeated and judicious exposure to freshly squeezed human ejaculate.

Applied piping hot, there's no better toner.

And according to a reputable local survey, Lucy is believed to have extracted enough fresh bull's milk to overfill the Saanich Commonwealth pool. (when they have the wave machine turned on)

Ask anybody.

That's why Island Farms Dairy tried to put her on contract. She's a legend.

 

[AJ S]

Here's the math, folks.

According to the Saanich municipality, pool #1 contains 2100 cu meters of water.

http://www.swimmersguide.com/query/Detail.cfm?PoolID=5708

Pool 1: 50m x 21m, 8 lanes, 2m depth,

50 x 21 x 2 = 2100 cu metres

Convert that to US Gallons = approximately 554761 gallons.
Figure that the average human male ejaculation is about 1 tablespoon,
that's 256 Tablespoons per gallon or 142,018,816 shots.

Assuming that everything was downhill, and with the wind at her back, Lucy might manage extract 10 extractions per day...so that would take

38,909 years.

 

[Ilove P]

Sidewinder,

I think you need to revise your numbers. The average male produces a tablespoon of ejaculate at a time. Lucy doesn't extract anything near average - I leave a couple of pounds lighter at least

 

[Ninja]

Commonwealth Pool? Our Lucy? Nah. Try the Grand Canyon.

 

[First namebob Jacom]

Pleeeeze forgive me Lucia! I guess that was a 10.9 on the grossness scale & for some us the visuals on that one were a little much.

I'm very quick to apologize here because as most of the other Lucy fans already know, Lucy keeps a collection of well, bungholing devices, discretely hidden, but easy to hand to indulge a client's secret fantasy.

There are three sizes. Regular. Large. And Alien.
I've never seen Alien. And I sure as heck never want to feel it either.

If it's any consolation, I had something unusual happen to me a couple of weeks ago that perhaps scarred me for life, but might explain if not excuse this latest round of grossness....

You see, I did my annual Westcoast camping trip a few weeks back, and when it was time to unpack and clean up the gear, a neat little striped bowl was found.

It was an extra, left by another camper that had fallen in with my gear.

Anyway, it was just the perfect size and shape for my morning bowl of granola, but that soon ended when I received an email from one of the other campers looking for Baxter's dish. Baxter is a two year old short haired Airedale.

 

[flippendo]

The woman I met is not the lady in the on the net, the lady i met was not this lady she was on the heavier side and like I stated much older and told me she was much younger on the phone. And in regards to your queries I am 23 and new to what you refer to as pooning and close my mother is 42. And when I get my next paycheque a pooning I will go thanks bro for setting we clear on my blunder

 

[Joel]

No, no...Alien MY ass !
Love ya! See you soon...it's been too long!

 

[May flower]

With each post, mrbigvicman just makes it more and more obvious who SHE is...

I guess she felt that badmouthing Lucy would increase her own massage business??

So, Heaven Leah... your secret is out, now shoo

 

[Deedee]

actually you are quite mistaken I am a 23 year old former male sextrade worker that just moved here from edmonton and I had made a mistake about your Lucy I believe I actually saw A Lady named Rose,,I have been on a spending spreee here partying it up and discovered your world here,,the lady said she messed up her internet ad ;;get over it and she doesnt take it on her face so why would she try and compete with Lucy or anyone all I got from Heaven and her buddy was a hands on only massage !!!not a pretty smiling face to shoot my load on.

 

[When.There.Isnt.Enough.]

Shills suck...and shills who don't know when to just leave a thread alone are even suckier

 

[sissy]

You call up Lucy, get her phone number either from her website or monday mag (don't know how else you would get it), by mistake go to the wrong door and just happen to get another service provider?? What an incredible coincidence!

 

[Alex M]

...and referred to her (quite correctly) as The Legendary Lucy. Hard to believe that the posting was an error. It should be removed as Lucy requested above.

And this person now tries to suggest that Lucy's attraction is that she "takes it on the face" (if you try and decipher the writing). More lies being spread in a thread that has gone on far too long.

 

[i<3travisclark]

and your posts in this thread:

http://www.eforum.xxx.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=91729

are soooooooooooooo obviously written by a woman...

I think it's hilarious when a woman tries to post as a man, especially when she has no clue how men actually think or talk.

 

[Darth Mike 420]

while ok I am a longhaired little mexican guy I saw and booked three appointments with Lucy when she lived across from the market. Now I paid the usual one hour free ,,she was very friendly we hung out and had a smoke together before we started our session. I offered to give Lucy a massage to begin with and she accepted. I got her going turned her ignition on with my magic hands so she asked if I wanted full service and I accepted.I can last for up to an hour as I have made it a point to be a super stud. After I had enough pounding her I finished we had chit chat and I left. Appointment number two was another hour long pounding for the regular 120 rate but I got wonderful full service experience with Lucy because if you are the kinda guy like me and can get her aroused she will provide full service. For appointment number three I showed up l without out any money I thought that since I turned her I might get a free bee but we had a smoke and she say no so i went and got a bill came back and got more wonderful service from your dear Lucy. So for all you Lucy lovers if you try real hard you might just get the specialties and extras that I did at her regular rates..You can always dream. And yes Lucy you know who I am. "true story" you also messaged me on facebook Lucy because I think you wanted more of my hot rod!!! so peace to all and to all a good night ,,,

 

[wraeth - PHA]

Go crawl back under your rock...

 

[Symnkayakex]

What I don't get is why pick on Lucy to harass? She is a genuinely nice person, and minds her own business.

How do you contact the mods to show another clown out the door?

 

[D.P.T]

I usually click on the number next to the inflammatory post to isolate it, copy the url and pm it to BCMod.

It would be easier if there was a report post button but them's the breaks.

 

[Jamie in hiding]

Thanks for the laugh, lilmexicanguy. Even at 3:00 a.m. I found this hillarious![ Classy response, Lucy. You held your ground and maintained the high ground till the right time... thanks for the story!/COLOR]

 

[anwen55]

So after my third appointment with Lucy we were making the idle meaningless chit chat clients exchange with their sp,s and I mentioned that I was going to a club to see a show. Fine but Lucy showed up at the show which was ok I said hello we hung out until my exgirlfreind and current longterm girlfriend showed up,she immediately saw that Lucy new me somehow so my girlfriend got Lucy dirty dancing with her. And then asked Lucy how she new me, much to my shock and surprise Lucy told her that I was a client and that she was Lucy from Lucy,s massage at the back of monday. My girlfriend without even turning around to see me proceeded to donkey kick me in the balls at which point the bouncers saw and kicked her outa the bar. i appriciate the great service Lucy provided but the total lack of discretion really got me between the legs. Now Lucy you must realize that like most clients I do have a girlfriend that I was cheating on. I( suggest Lucy that you accept what you did that was very unproffesional and quit trying to lie your way out or I can tell the last part of the story as well ? think about it carefully before you defend your indiscretion by lying.

 

[Bernard H]

Attagirl, Luce. Your sense of humour sparkles, and that's the best anyone can make of this sorry thread.