When a hobby suddenly becomes an Addiction

If you get a hard-on looking at her, well then you do have a problem!

jwm
 
I agree, this hobby is more addictive than heroine. It used to be once every four months, then every two months, now once or twice a month. As soon as I started repeating witht the same MPA that's when I can say it became addictive. The sessions keep getting better so you keep wanting to go back.

I've now stopped repating as much and have gained more control over it, I try to see a new person every other visit and have got it back down to once a month, which is still too much.

Also, try to limit your viewing of porn, sexy pics and I know this is hard, but try not to ogle the skimpy summer girls too much.

The best way to stay away from MPAs though is to make friends with more women, I'm not even talking girlfriends, just friends. I don't know how it relates, but I find that it just does.
 
To join the growing chorus - get help, man. You've admitted you have an addiction. Find a support group and join it. You can start right now. Google probably drew you here, chances are it can draw you out.
 
It's Jabba the Butt!!!...I think I'm blessed having 100 miles and an international border between myself and the Clubs and MP's of Nigara Falls. While I was camped there last weekend, every evening I was enticed by the siren song of a sexual encounter...I was broke when I went home....hehe
 
Ok, so speaking of being addicted, how many mp visits a month would you fellow massageplanet.netites say classifies as an addiction??

I tend to hobby on a regular basis, maybe 1 mp every month or so (and I don't think that is much, but I could be wrong), but I too at times can find it addicting, craving my next visit just a few days after an encounter.
 
The short-term answer really is to jerk off just as soon as you get aroused, and watch the money flow back into where it should be going. All hobbyists confront this at one point or another.

The longer term issues of self-esteem issues can only be solved by actually having real-life relationships with women, not paid ones. However many times guys keep saying "you pay in one form or another", as soon as you pay for sex habitually, you drain any possibility of true exchange that is the cornerstone of mental health and well being.

Paid sex is a distortion lens that gets worse the more you forget it's distorted. As long as you continue to remind yourself of the invisibles that rule this hobby, you're "okay". As soon as it begins to devour you rather than serve your needs, you're in trouble, as you've discovered.

Many men don't realize that they create ghettos around their experiences by living in the secretive world of the hobby. It can get very lonely, and self-esteem can plummet. The key is to keep your "real" life and your "hobby" in balance. Meet women through shared interests (sex doesn't count )
 
oh man, my problem was that I am IN the picture too...some bodyslides aren't for the faint of heart.
http://www.jenaweb.de/cards/fat-mama.jpg

cheers,
h
 
The simple answer is this: anything takes you away from who you really are rather than towards who you are. Some years ago, I was going to a particular MP where I was living out the fantasties we all dream of with hot, asian girls. I would literally leave completely happy with life, and move on to "real" things with energy and contentment. But eventually, I started to feel dread and less and less enthusiasm about the experiences, and I literally just stopped going. I felt instantly better that I had boundaries around my lust, something bigger than my little head's happiness.

This may well be the key I think. Self-respect. Self-control. Respect the dance, don't allow your appetites to outpace your own awareness. On the worst of days, your sex drive can feel like a very real form of madness. On the best of days, it can be the most liberating part of your life, and lead to wellness on all levels.
 
I did a bit of research awhile back, and found some interesting facts. By far the hardest 'addictions' to break are those that are based on some kind of natural function that must be fulfilled anyway.

Overeating is a classic case, because we must do SOME of it all the time, so that need to indulge a bit is often an irrestible trigger to do more. STARTING is essential, so the STOPPING can occur way too late. Same thing with sex, especially for men - a couple of days and you almost HAVE to do something about it.

The financial restraint/ special bank account etc is fine, except that unfortuantely it only seems to happen when necessary. Once the next big windfall arrives, the purse-strings are opened again.

I am actively trying Ashley Madison to basically get it cheaper. I have tried to get counselling but I don't know who can help.

The worst thing, I think it truly ruins your chances to have a good permanent relationship, because we get caught into this 'always want to try something new' mentality.
 
Budget for the hobby or quit cold turkey. Sounds like you're about to begin the dangerous slide into full addiction.

If you can't stick to you budget... then quit now. The fact that you're thinking about it says everything.
 
See a proffessional sex therapist. Also, your Dr. may be able to prescribe medications that can alleviate what may be some psychological issues which cause you to be obbsesive.
 
If its because you find that there are so many to see, bruce, get picky man, get really really picky.

In your mind, complain about her boobs, her back fat, whatever it is that is just not right, droopy bum, ultra bad breath, whatever - too fat, to old, too wrinkly, too young and useless - just complain and list all these negative points of an mpa so much to yourself that shes just not attractive anymore. I guarantee this will reduce the number of MPAs that you even want to see.

If you are addicted to one or two specific ones, make them aware, perhaps they will do you a favor and turn you away sometimes.

Lastly, oneandten has a point, talk to a counsellor if you can.
 
Your comments are well considered and well made so I'm responding only to add a slightly different perspective.

I maintain that it's true (bearing in mind my original post in this thread was in 2004!) that all relationships with women, whether in the sex trade or not, cost money. I also agree with you that a "civilian" relationship can improve your well being and self esteem in ways which an SP relationship cannot. Of course, civilian relationships can also harm your self esteem in ways that an SP cannot! Further, many men who have no difficulty forming and maintaining civilian relationships still seek out SP experiences for a variety of reasons. Finally, it's possible to feel lonely no matter what kind of relationships you have or how many people are are around you. Loneliness is a function of whether you feel "connected" to the world around you.

My point, in a nutshell, is that you cannot establish self esteem based soley, or even principally, on pursuing civilian relationships to the exclusion of SPs. If the original poster has a self esteem issue, it will be necessary for him to examine all aspects of his life, perhaps with professional help.

While excessive hobbying could be a symptom of poor self esteem, I don't think that it is definitive.
 
It doesn't matter even which city I'm in, I can smell them out too!
 
I think you're kidding yourself. Paid sex changes everything. When you start comparing "civilian" relationships (lol) to paid ones, you've just made my point. There isn't any comparison to be made.

So many guys who pay for sex somehow level all dating relationships down to those of a transaction ("you pay one way or the other"), but that's just their bitterness talking. If you'd had a real love affair with someone, you would never make such a nonsense comparison.

There is no comparison between a woman who is genuinely into you and one who is paid to do so. If you don't know the difference, you're terribly confused.
 
Bruce:

Some good suggestions made already, but here would be mine, for what it's worth

1. Join a gym and set some goals (lose weight or some progress on certain machines/exercises). Anything that helps you get into another routine and takes up time in a more healthy way.
2. Stop and I mean STOP coming on to this board and STOP visiting any other sites you use get info on and STOP picking up NOW/EYE or whatever else publications you use to get info on. This is a really important step.
3. Instead of cold turkey - maybe just start by going every so often to one of your favourites.
4. Masmassageplanet.netate first thing in the morning - maybe this can help in taking the urge off a bit. Also, it might reduce your confidence that you can be at your peak performance so you might delay your urge to visit someone until the next day. If you start wavering - have your way with yourself again - and try to put off that visit.

Slowly but surely, if you are really serious about it, you should be able to reign it in quite a bit to a point where it is more manageable.

Good luck.
 
Your right, the two relationships are different, but each has their own costs. If your married, then paying some one for time and sex is the simplest, you can end the relationship any time.
A non-paying relationship is dangerous. Because it has to evolve, the womens expectation are different to that of the man. Women want commitment, and in the long term want marriage, and children. It's in their genes.
 
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    ๐ŸŽ‰๐Ÿ’ANNIE SPA๐ŸŽ‰๐Ÿ’ โœ…7-1001 SANDHURST CIRCLEโœ… ๐Ÿ‘ŒSCARBOROUGH ON M1V 1Z6๐Ÿ‘Œ โ˜Ž๏ธ (647) 891-9688โ˜Ž๏ธ โ˜Ž๏ธ (416) 291-8879โ˜Ž๏ธ (FINCH & MCCOWAN) OPEN 9:30am to 9pm MONDAY to SUNDAY ๐Ÿ”ฅโœ…NEW MANAGEMENT๐Ÿ’ฏNEW GIRLS๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ ๐Ÿ”ฅGORGEOUS NEW YOUNG ASIAN GIRLS - TODAYโ€™s ROSTER INCLUDES: ๐Ÿ”ฅ Helen๐ŸฅฐBrand new very young university student from Hong Kong. Great massage skills with a wild flirtatious side willing to tease and please to bring you to satisfaction. Perky natural 34C breasts perfect for kissing and body slide
  30. EMSpa_schedule:
    Tomorrow's sneak peek : For Sunday November 24, 2024, our attendants will be Ada ๐Ÿ˜˜, Cici ๐Ÿ”ฅ, Lucy โค๏ธ, Ivy ๐Ÿฅฐ and Christina ๐Ÿค— We have a great lineup for tomorrow! Call 905-479-6668 tobook!
  31. SL West:
    ๐Ÿ’†โ€โ™€๐Ÿ’–Funday Sunday ๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ’– Ultimate destination for Asian massages๐ŸŽ‰ Two fab spots: SL Richmond Hill & SL West Oakvilleโœจ Your passport to paradise with 9 enchanting girls fr China, HK, Japan & Korea โ€” Tina, Eva, 34D Tear Drop Suki, Cici, Sophia, JPN Yui, Coco, Tiffany & 36D Julieโ€” ๐ŸŽ๐Ÿ Ring us ๐Ÿ“ž647-695-6354 or text us ๐Ÿ“ฑ647-578-8169โœจ 160 East Beaver Cr., Unit 12, RichmondHill ๐Ÿ’ฐWhere Eastern charm meets Western comfort - your bliss awaits๐Ÿ™Œ
  32. Moneylee:
    All season wellness center : New Young girl big breasted beautiful buttocks charming temperament big boobs Doris ,Young girl big boobs beautiful face deep massage Midi ,Young girl big breasted beautiful buttocks charming temperament Lala,Young beautiful face sexy body and good deep massage Maggie, Enchanting sexy petite deep massage Sherry ,๐Ÿ  address: #5-30 Rambler dr Brampton ,Ontario L6W 1E2โ˜Ž๏ธ4376655510 ๐Ÿ‘„๐Ÿ‘„๐Ÿฆต๐Ÿฆต๐Ÿˆต๏ธ๐Ÿˆต๏ธ๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ‘…
  33. Moneylee:
    Full season Wellness center: Young girl big boobs beautiful face deep massage Connie , Student big boobs buttocks Vicky ,Young girl big breasted beautiful buttocks charming temperament big boobs Anjoo , young girl pretty face nice figure Thai deep massage Linda ,Enchanting sexy petite deep massage Mary. ๐Ÿ  2560 Shepard ave Mississauga unit 1 โ˜Ž๏ธ 4379857899 ๐Ÿฆต๐Ÿฆต๐Ÿ‘„๐Ÿ‘„๐Ÿˆต๏ธ๐Ÿˆต๏ธ๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ‘…
  34. Golden Sunshine Spa:
    โœจClick on our Username and FOLLOW US for updates and special services ! โœ… Today๐ŸŒธRebecca๐ŸŒธClaire๐ŸŒธFran๐ŸŒธEly๐ŸŒธJazmin Call us โ˜Ž 905 - 265 - 2158โ˜Ž๏ธ Your ultimate service awaits! โœจ
  35. Soul Relax Spa:
    โœจ Looking for a relaxing escape? โœ… Meet๐ŸŒธAlisa๐ŸŒธTina๐ŸŒธValentinaCall us today for the best treatment and service experience. Click on our Username and FOLLOW US for updates ! Call now โ˜Ž 289 - 298 - 5662โ˜Ž๏ธ Your ultimate relaxation awaits! โœจ
  36. Lulu1980:
    Phoenix Blossom Spa ๐ŸŒน๐ŸŒน๐ŸŒน3 girls ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ5124 Dundas St W Etobicokeโ˜Ž๏ธ416-817-3366๐Ÿ‘ New girl Ivy big boobs 36DD ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜Hot and sexy body, super body slide, very provocative service๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜, professional super Suki and Luna deep tissue massage, has therapeutic effect to loosen bones and relieve muscle pressure and will bring you unexpected service effects, she will bring you a little surprise๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜โค๏ธYou are welcome to make an appointment at any time or walk in the back door with plenty of parking spaces
  37. lotushubspa:
    Dear customers, Lotus Spa is located at 10737 Yonge St unit13. The girl who works today is named Anna๐Ÿ’‹Tina๐Ÿ’‹Mia๐Ÿ’‹. We have massages from Taiwan, China and Korea for you. First-class service. Come and try it quickly๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ’‹Please contact 9052375885๐Ÿ’‹ or SMS 4163565876๐Ÿ’‹
  38. Sunrise Spa:
    ๐Ÿ˜˜ We have a wonderful Asian spa in downtown Toronto ๐Ÿ˜˜ 302 Adelaide St W, 2nd Floor ๐Ÿ˜˜ Today is Coco, Caribbean Sophie and Kitty ๐Ÿ˜˜ 416-916-7276
  39. hiyamickey:
    7 girls working at Reinella wellness, 19 years Japanese girl Hannah, 20 years old Japanese girl Amanda, Angela, Lulu, Sasha, Queenie, Ella @ 6262 hwy7 unit #1 Vaughan โ˜Ž๏ธ๏ผš905-851-4888
  40. Sparkling Spa:
    โšก๏ธ๐ŸŒŸSPARKLING SPAโšก๏ธ๐ŸŒŸ โœ…50 Lockridge Ave Unit 8โœ… ๐Ÿ‘ŒMarkham, ON L3R 8X4๐Ÿ‘Œ โ˜Ž๏ธ (905) 604-8186 Spa Land Lineโ˜Ž๏ธ โ˜Ž๏ธ (437) 446-6688 NEW Spa Cell Phoneโ˜Ž๏ธ (West of Warden & 16th Ave) OPEN 10am to 9pm MONDAY to SUNDAY ๐Ÿ”ฅโœ…NEW MANAGEMENT๐Ÿ’ฏNEW GIRLS๐Ÿ”ฅSUPERSTAR SERVICE QUEENS AVAILABLE AT SPARKLING SPA FOR ALL YOUR MASSAGE AND SPECIAL EXTRA NEEDS๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ”ฅโค๏ธ๐Ÿ‘Œ ๐Ÿ”ฅSEXY NEW YOUNG GIRLS ALWAYS WORKING - Todayโ€™s Schedule isโ€ฆ๐Ÿ”ฅ Foxy -๐Ÿ”ฅYour new addiction at Sparkling Spa! A tall 5โ€™7โ€ sexy Korean girl with a wi
  41. Lily Spa:
    โค๏ธ KAJAL, ELENA, CINDY and KK are here today for your massage needs โค๏ธ Lily Spa โค๏ธ 2190 McNicoll โค๏ธ Scarborough โค๏ธ M1V 5M2 โค๏ธ (647) 531-8288 โค๏ธ
  42. #203MoMo&Beauty:
    MoonMoon spa/416 887 8801/8131Yonge st #203 Turkish Persian girl and Asian girl today
  43. AliceSpa:
    SATURDAY at ๐—”๐—Ÿ๐—œ๐—–๐—˜ ๐—ฆ๐—ฃ๐—”, 4915 Steeles Ave. E, Scarborough ๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿญ๐Ÿฒ-๐Ÿฎ๐Ÿต๐Ÿด-๐Ÿฌ๐Ÿด๐Ÿต๐Ÿด. 4915 Steeles Ave. E, Scarborough 416-298-0898 [/color] 3 Top Girls Today at Alice Spa: *New today, NANCY: is a young, petite & busty JAPANESE cutie. Nancy is short with a small body, pretty babyface, AV Star type. MAGGIE (10am-9pm) (1pm-9pm) is young pretty & petite. Short & super slim, busty HK student, great massage
  44. AmoreSpaEtobicoke:
    AMORE SPA 127 Westmore Drive, Unit 106C Etobicoke, ON M9V 3Y6 โ˜Ž 437-688-2407 โ˜Ž Saturday at AMORE SPA: CHERRY & MIA. CHERRY is a proven superstar, Slim Asian with a pretty face, all natural A or B Cups, long nipples, slim waist & small round bum. Her services are legendary. MIA is a young 27 JAPANESE girl, curvy, good massage bbj cim, nice and open minded.
  45. ASPA:
    SATURDAY at ๐€ ๐’๐๐€: Jenny, Rachel & Tracy. ๐Ÿ…ฐ๏ธ๐€ ๐’๐๐€๐Ÿ…ฐ๏ธ, 28 South Unionville Ave, Unit 5, Markham. ๐Ÿ…ฐ๏ธ๐—–๐—ฎ๐—น๐—น ๐Ÿฒ๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿณ-๐Ÿณ๐Ÿฎ๐Ÿต-๐Ÿฒ๐Ÿฒ๐Ÿฌ๐Ÿฒ ๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐˜๐—ฒ๐˜…๐˜ ๐Ÿฒ๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿณ-๐Ÿด๐Ÿฏ๐Ÿต-๐Ÿฑ๐Ÿต๐Ÿฒ๐Ÿฒ๐Ÿ…ฐ๏ธ JENNY is a sexy Asian honey, about 165 Cms., slim to medium build, beautiful natural 36Cโ€™s, long sexy legs & big hips, good massage & excellent services. Jenny has sexy smooth skin and a very good personality.
  46. Jennyโ€™s Spa:
    ๐ŸŽ‰๐Ÿ’JENNYโ€™S SPA๐ŸŽ‰๐Ÿ’ โœ…5170 DUNDAS STREET WESTโœ… ๐Ÿ‘ŒETOBICOKE ONTARIO M9A 1C4๐Ÿ‘Œ โ˜Ž๏ธ( 647-893-5196)โ˜Ž๏ธCall or Text โ˜Ž๏ธ( 437-888-3759)โ˜Ž๏ธCall Only (ETOBICOKE) OPEN 10am to 9pm MONDAY to SUNDAY ๐Ÿ”ฅโœ…GRAND OPENING๐Ÿ’ฏNEW GIRLS EVERYDAY๐Ÿ”ฅEXCELLENT MASSAGE + SERVICE QUEENS NOW AVAILABLE AT JENNYโ€™S SPA FOR ALL YOUR MASSAGE AND SPECIAL EXTRA NEEDS๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ”ฅโค๏ธ๐Ÿ‘Œ ๐Ÿ”ฅTWO BEAUTIFUL NEW YOUNG ASIAN GIRLS EVERYDAY๐Ÿ”ฅ ๐Ÿ’ฏREAL PICTURES OF ATTENDANTS๐Ÿ’ฏ ๐Ÿ”ฅTODAYโ€™s ROSTER INCLUDES: Apple๐Ÿ˜˜ - Brand new girl from Taiwan ju
  47. HolidaySpa:
    Saturday at ๐ŸŒด๐Ÿ˜Ž๐ŸŒ…๐“—๐“ธ๐“ต๐“ฒ๐“ญ๐“ช๐”‚ ๐“ข๐“น๐“ช๐ŸŒ…๐Ÿ˜Ž๐ŸŒด3517 Kennedy Rd, Unit 4, Scarborough โ˜Ž๏ธ๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿฏ๐Ÿณ-๐Ÿฎ๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿณ-๐Ÿญ๐Ÿญ๐Ÿต๐Ÿตโ˜Ž๏ธAMY & NANA. AMY is an attractive young lady with larger breasts and a nice bottom. She has outstanding oral skills, and is very popular. Donโ€™t miss out on her special skills Nana is a slim and very sexy Korean lady, very pretty and accommodating. Come and try, you will like. ๐ŸŒด๐Ÿ˜Ž๐ŸŒ…HOLIDAY SPA๐ŸŒ…๐Ÿ˜Ž๐ŸŒด
  48. SugarLoveSpa:
    Saturday at โค๏ธ๐Ÿ’™ ๐Ÿ’œโŽ๐—ฆ๐—จ๐—š๐—”๐—ฅ ๐—Ÿ๐—ข๐—ฉ๐—˜ ๐—ฆ๐—ฃ๐—”โŽ ๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿ’˜: LUNA, SARA & TIFFANY. 1270 Finch Ave W (at Keele St), Unit 18. North York, ON โ˜Ž ๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿฏ๐Ÿณ-๐Ÿฏ๐Ÿฒ๐Ÿฑ-๐Ÿฎ๐Ÿฒ๐Ÿด๐Ÿด โ˜Ž LUNA is a slim, VERY PETITE and capable Vietnamese beauty nice natural 34C Cups. Luna can do everything. SARA is a beautiful Thai lady with C Cups, 160 Cms and 50 Kgs, with a full set of services to delight you. TIFFANY is amazing slim petite
  49. Sunrise Health Centre:
    ๐Ÿซฆ Sasa is here Today! ๐Ÿ“ž๐Ÿ“ฒ (647) 325-8086 ๐Ÿซฆ Sasa is Young Pretty Chinese Girl ๐Ÿ’„ We have Hot & Sexy Girls Every Day. ๐Ÿ’‹ They all do Extra Services & are Very Open-Minded ๐Ÿšถโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿšถโ€โžก๏ธ Walk-Ins Are Always Welcome! Unit 27, 10 East Wilmot Street, Richmond Hill
  50. New Oriental Health Centre:
    ๐Ÿซฆ Yoyo & Nayla are in today ๐Ÿ“žCall ๐Ÿ“ฒ Text: (647) 381-2688 ๐Ÿ’„Yoyo is a Very HOT n' Sexy Asian. ๐Ÿ‘ Nayla is a Tall, Young, Beautiful & Curvy Spanish Girl. ๐Ÿ’‹ All Our Girls Provide Lots of E X T R A S & are Extremely Open-Minded ๐Ÿค— We're Open from 8am til Late Everyday! Drop in to Unit 26, 10 East Wilmot Street, Richmond Hill.
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