I spent a significant portion of my life in abject poverty, and part of my early childhood homeless. It sounds wretched, but honestly with government assistance, though it was far from comfortable, it wasn't squaller. My mother was ill and unable to work, and refused to take any assistance from my father. During the years of homelessness we spent them in women's shelters, about 2-4 families to a room depending on the shelter. Some had kitchens where the mothers could cook for themselves and the children, and some had a massageplaneteteria with meal times. I recall at least two having backyard playgrouds for the kids, and many got donations of toys and books and clothes. I still have every stuffed animal I ever got at a shelter. I actually had my first boy crush at one of these places. I think I was about seven, and we were in the backyard of the shelter playing on monkey bars, and he told me "Of all my girlfriend's you're my favorite". It was very sweet.
What made it possible to cope? I guess I was too young to put too much thought into it, that's just the way life was. There was still plenty of reason to laugh and smile - that's what friends are for. You don't need money, or even a home, to find a reason to laugh. I also developed a great appreciation for "simple luxuries". So when I was a child, it would be having a lovely jar of strawberry jam to spread on a nice soft piece of bread. Now it's a pair of lace gloves, or an antique kaleidoscope, sitting in the grass playing with my dog, or a shamelessly greasy unhealthy meal that's absolutely delicious. All those things are luxurious and beautiful in their own right - it doesn't have to cost much or anything for something to be a great experience.
"To be sensual, I think, is to respect and rejoice in the force of life, of life itself, and to be present in all that one does, from the effort of loving to the making of bread." James A. Baldwin.
I always felt that poverty and trauma can do one of two things to a person, and it depends on their instinctive character: 1. It can make you miserable. 2. It can liberate you.
By liberate I mean that you are to some degree fearless, because when you have lost everything and survived, you know that loosing everything isn't the end of the world. It also allows you to live in the moment, because that's all you really have: my mother might be in the hospital, I have no idea how I can afford to survive the next week, and I'm carrying the weight of sadness - but damn, this fresh jam is really delicious, the sun feels warm on my face and I can hear a sparrow singing.
Interestingly I know a few gentlemen who have been raised with a silver spoon. They are quite fascinated by my upbringing, and always curious about my insights. Our completely different backgrounds give us lots of intellectual exploration, and it actually brings us closer together.
Onto the subject of charity: I rarely donate to large organizations. When I want to give in an act of charity, I contact local shelters and "sponsor" a family around holidays. So if christmas is coming up, I ask the shelter for a family - the age of the children, their gender, any interests, clothing sizes other such details. Then I go out and buy each of the kids clothes and toys, and wrap them up in gift paper. Then we get something nice for the mother - like a day at the spa and some cash. Then two days before the holiday I go grocery shopping and buy everything from veggies, to the meat, to the desert and drinks, and I drop them off at the shelter, who then provides it to the family I sponsored. I have also done this with my gentlemen friends (we split the cost and went shopping together) in the cities where they live.
I cannot put into words what a difference this makes to the lives of the people on the receiving end - it's huge. It's cause of tears, and hope, for feeling love for mankind, and a reason to smile.
If there is one thing you should always do for your brothers and sisters in the human race, rich or poor, near or far, friend or stranger: Treat them with dignity and grace, even when you can't understand how they got where they are.