Everyday that passes by, I just lose my will to live. It's been 3 weeks since the hysteria got real in North America. By that, I'm referring to shutdowns of sports leagues and non-essential businesses, cancellations of various pop culture events and lockdowns of some states and provinces. It feels much longer than that and yet for all this time, not one bit of progress. Everyday, I try to keep an optimistic outlook but all I see on TV, in the papers and online are gloomy forecasts. This site has been a source of escape and entertainment with all the funny reviews and back-and-forth insults that take place but recently, it's been like any other outlet that predicts nothing but the worst.
I'm really thankful to still have a source of income at this time and it's helped me find purpose after isolating myself for a while but to see what surrounds me each day I go to and from work is just discouraging. We're all in this together. We're all doing our small part for the common good but now, I'm starting to question it. We're doing all this but at what price? An economy that will never get back to normal in this lifetime? It's great that lives will be saved by this endeavour but knowing the tradeoff for it is just depressing. I know it's selfish but I just lose the motivation each day to go on because of the prospect that some of my favourite establishments (bars, restaurants, coffee shops, gyms, spas, hotels etc.) may never see the light of day again.
I was so onboard with this under the belief that the quicker we contain this, the sooner we get back to normal. Now we don't even know when soon is or if our reality today may be the new normal. It's hard to see the big picture when there's a possiblity that we may not have much to look forward to when this all ends. It's hard to keep hope alive when the things that gave us joy and comfort in our lives may no longer be around after all this madness. We will flatten the curve but start new ones in terms of poverty, murders, drug use, other diseases etc. A sick economy will result in a sick populace. I'm not big on moral victories and silver linings. Being thankful to just be alive isn't going to cut it.