You have to delete this account and don't come back again to see the comments!
You have to get off this hobby truly, deeply from inside. You have to hate it to leave it. And don't compare your relationship with money. So stop saying about the wine's price tag. Try to respect and love the relationship and try to understand why she is giving you her precious time of life? Just to have sex with you or she really wants to be there with you as you grow old?
And if you come back again to read the comments please do check the videos from this YT channel -
https://www.youtube.com/user/ActualizedOrg/search?query=self+actual
It will help you nurture in many ways!
And don't come back again!