The cost of hobbying (killing us!!!)

[Matt991]

Like some (many?) of you, I too have walked the road of sex addiction. It's something I struggle with regularly, and unfortunately there is no magic bullet cure. You have to attack the issue from many angles.

Maybe some of these ideas will help you

Counselling:
Understand what's contributing to the addiction. It could be any combination of depression, stress, loneliness, "the thrill" etc. Understanding what triggers your urges may help you avoid them.

Medication:
Quite candidly, bi-polar disorder runs in my family. When I'm in a manic phase, I need the HIGH which comes from sex. Meds help control the urge, and make me functional day to day. That said, meds aren't THE cure.

Physical Exercise:
Going to the gym helps by tiring me out naturally. It also boosts my confidence. At 44 I don't expect to look like a young hunk, but things aren't hanging over my belt either!

Avoid massageplanet.net bullshit:
It's negative energy and drags you down. Who cares if other guys don't like your favourite girl? YOU do and that's all that matters. Many girls treat regulars VERY differently than walk ins. I know it, and if you've been around long enough YOU know it too. No point in arguing the fact.

Choose a couple of favourite MPA's and (try to) avoid the rest:
You can't possibly see every girl out there, and making the rounds only drains your bank account. I deliberately avoid the massageplanet.net InCall section (most of the time!) because I don't want to know about every nasty indy Asian girl out there. Knowing only plants seeds in my mind.

Create financial goals:
Start small if you have to. If you've spent this week's (biweek, month's) MP money and you have the urge, think about what ELSE you could do with the money. Maybe it's buying a DVD boxset of your favourite TV show. Spend the $50 on that and put the rest into savings. Now you're $150 ahead and have something tangible to show for your "urge" to spend.

Keep track of how much you're spending on the hobby:
I kept a calendar for 2010 and know how much I spent to the penny, and with which girls. I'm embarassed to say HOW MUCH, but let's just say if I averaged it out over the 7 years I've been hobbying I'd be driving a Porsche 911 right now. Some of you are probably the same.

Listen, I'm not complaining and I'm certainly NO VICTIM. I made a lifestyle choice and accept that. Now I'm making a choice to seek balance.

PS> don't feel bad if you're diagnosed and need meds. My father was bi-polar and was a Dr. I hold down a professional job too.

 

[Happee]

I can guarantee there are more girls that get in.... make thousands and some even hundreds of thousands and retire. They get married, kids and live happily ever after. There are ups and downs whether you are the SP or client. I have dated many girls in the adult industry and they have all had a general distaste for men but not the man they are with. I would also say the enjoy sex and have a much higher sex drive than girls that are not in the industry. This has been my experience.

 

[Danni A]

Generally, getting a massage is safer than FS with an SP when speaking in terms of #s of customers or encounters, so the risk is less.

 

[annie n]

Know your limit, play within it.
Like many things, this hobby can be addictive. The key is only to play with what you can afford to lose..

 

[Old Thrusty]

the problem is, we might also need to see a therapist to quit massageplanet.net.

 

[antonio d]

Do you know how valuable you are to this board? The voice of reason. Here here!!!

P.S. 44yr old hunk

 

[Mimi resurrected]

44 is young!!!

P.S. I also agree that being selective is excellent advice, and being a regular with someone you click with pays off in the long run too because you don't waste money searching and end up being frustrated.

 

[Carla M]

Very dangerous, for all involved.

Life gets complicated when the hobby relationship extends beyond the penis/business.



You were talking about prohibiting prostitution. The industry thrives everywhere, simply because sex is a basic human need. Morality can't be legislated, but civil conduct can be.

 

[eliza]

A massage within limits is safer because there should be no fluid transfer.

As for fewer encounters, it depends on the spa, MP and SP. Excluding sketchy high volume Asian places, how many guys do you think an SP sees a day? From what I hear, an average MPA might see 4 to 6. A busy MPA will see 8 to 12 or more.

Then if you're inclined to be licking and sucking things....

I've also been told that FS with an SP is safer in one respect - the sex is planned and protection is provided. With massage, it is more likely to be spontaneous and protection may not be available. Then there are "massage-type" activities such as PS-ing, which is pretty much the same risk as FS. How many MPAs pack condoms in their standard kit?

 

[C.A.S.]

The risk of focusing your hobbying on one or a few regulars is that it can easily develop beyond a pay-for-play relationship. That is a whole other ball of wax.

 

[CLJC]

In all jobs, that can happen. Either way, we all work for "the man" somehow. I know some very jaded corporate bigwigs, lawyers, nurses, stock brokers, etc.

 

[Hunter2012]

Totally agree with everything you have stated

 

[Charles C]

Oh shit, here we go around again, lol.

Perhaps the bigger risk is that the hobby can be a distraction to working or developing a real relationship with a 'civilian'.

 

[The_Mouse]

Interesting thread. thanks for sharing everyone!

 

[tiggermom1218]

I did tried that route, but I chose the lady therapist and she became the rapist.

 

[poppy1]

Yup.

Not to say that real relationships can't develop with a girl in the industry.

 

[EugeneBrumley]

Let's get real. There is risk in every human activity. Getting rubbed by an MPA is probably less risky than skiing or snowmobiling or fishing. As for MPA's being "human train wrecks". I think there are a lot more in the acting industry (Lindsay Lohan, Heath Ledger, etc.). Some people are being way overdramatic here.

 

[Sierra-chan]

How much is too much? For an MPA to quit and us men to say enough is enough? I personally indulge once a week...but I do think that is a bit much!

 

[D Aravah - JBC]

Thanks!!! The only time I feel 44 is when I need to take my glasses OFF to read. Bifocals are EVIL!! LOL

 

[captain futility]

What is "PS-ing" and what is "Italian" (mentioned earlier in thread)?

And are STDs really that common in this hobby?

John