Ok, so I used to belong to this singles dating site. We held parties all over north america and some in canada and I met a lot of great people.
So I became friends with this one guy (kind of a lady killer) and actually ended up doing some business with him.
So he's gone through a few of the ladies on this site and one of his "has beens" contacts me via their email app and starts chatting me up. One thing leads to another and one friday she phones me and says "why don't you come down for the weekend (she's in pennsylvania), I'm pretty horny...."
Yeah, friday at 8 pm....what the hell, he said she was great in the sack....
So I drive down and when I'm crossing the border I get a 20 something cute US border guard. She asks "what is the purpose of your visit"????
I said "you want the truth?"
Of course....
Well, I met this hottie on a dating site, and she just phoned me up 2 hrs ago and said she was horny and wanted me to come down....
WELL, the guard almost peed herself laughing, tears were coming down her face as she waved me on.
So to make a long story short, I'm not there 10 minutes and she's naked from the hips down on the couch. As I'm licking her I start to slide a finger in....damn she's tight (she's only 5' nothing). I get my finger in 1 knuckle.....AND HIT BOTTOM.
WTF I think to myself....maybe I'm doing this wrong, try another angle. Nope holy fuck.......
Anyhow she pulls me up and drags me to the bedroom....I'm avoiding even trying to enter by keeping us in 69 etc but she insists....so yeah, I get the head in and that's it.....no in and out movement whatsoever...she's coming up a storm too.....(lol I mean how irritating doh).
So of course she's happier than a pig in shit and i'm like oh fuck a whole weekend of this?
I leave on sunday morning and get home.....I had told my buddy that I was going down to see her and there was an email when I got home.
I asked him "did you find her a little small down there".....
Get this, his response?
NO WHY???? lol.....
OMFG mr Don Juan has a little dick!!!!
I then thought: that explains why he can't keep any of these women.....