You missed her coz you know you don't really 'own' her and she is not exclusively yours. You don't love her but you are obsessed about her. Human is such that we tend to value those that we can't have and ignore those that we already own.
The problem about having an affair outside of your family is, you will lose your head over the one that is outside, forget about the one who has been looking after your family. Man will be man, but remember your priority. It ain't worth it to screw your life for a PRC that you know you can't be with her for life.
As much as we may seem to be in love with a PRC, to live with one for life may not as rosy as we think. Culturally, we are still very different. Unless we find one that is very cosmopolitan.
Spare some time Reviewom bonking and think about what you really want in life. Play, but with care!