Chat Jokes please

[Apolyton]

 

[cupcrazy]

 

[cupcrazy]

 

[Bigusdickus]

My urologist’s office called the other day and explained that my scheduled appointment would now be done over the phone due to the coronavirus. One hour before the scheduled teleconference, I was instructed (via email) to administer my own urine test. This was to avoid those lab tests and costly co-pays that your doctors tell you to get at Quest Diagnostics, and because they're shutdown too.

Directions:

Simply go outside and pee on the front lawn.

If ants gather: DIABETES.

If you pee on your feet: PROSTATE.

If it smells like a barbecue: CHOLESTEROL.

If your wrist hurts when you shake it: OSTEOARTHRITIS.

If you return to your house with your penis outside your pants: ALZHEIMER'S

 

[snoopdoggie]

My urologist’s office called the other day and explained that my scheduled appointment would now be done over the phone due to the coronavirus. One hour before the scheduled teleconference, I was instructed (via email) to administer my own urine test. This was to avoid those lab tests and costly co-pays that your doctors tell you to get at Quest Diagnostics, and because they're shutdown too.

Directions:

Simply go outside and pee on the front lawn.

If ants gather: DIABETES.

If you pee on your feet: PROSTATE.

If it smells like a barbecue: CHOLESTEROL.

If your wrist hurts when you shake it: OSTEOARTHRITIS.

If you return to your house with your penis outside your pants: ALZHEIMER'S

What does it mean if your neighbour's smile at you?

 

[Bigusdickus]

What does it mean if your neighbour's smile at you?

You need to relocate,

What does it mean if your neighbour's smile at you?

Time to move

 

[BigDare88]

 

[BigDare88]

 

[snoopdoggie]

You need to relocate,
Time to move

They may want you to do that more often. Ha ha ha ha ha.

 

[BigDare88]

 

[Hornet]

Q: What’s more annoying: Whitesnake1987 or Hemorrhoids?
A: Whitesnake1987, because there is just no amount of preparation for how annoying Whitesnake1987 is, but there is Preparation H for Hemorrhoids.

 

[Flatulent Fox]

What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics?

Not being a retard.

 

[cupcrazy]

 

[snoopdoggie]

View attachment 119805

She must have acquired this sweater at the Salvation Army in China. The poor Chinese girl who's wearing it, has no idea what it says. Lol.

 

[cupcrazy]

 

[cupcrazy]

 

[cupcrazy]

 

[BigDare88]

 

[BigDare88]

 

[snoopdoggie]

View attachment 120446

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha