Wanna go out and meet some cute boys!

[Rock Firestorm]

etg i think quite a few members of this forum are defensive when a thread doesnt go to their way of thinking. personally i like diverse views even if i dont agree with them, broadens the mind. me and some friends are over in phuket from the 17th june so if you want to come and have a chat and express oppinions without being shouted down your more than welcome.

probably get a few more little red flags for that one but who gives a ****

 

[cruz1850]

Honolulu-Jimmy come back. Everything is forgotten..... :heart: :kiss: :love2: :cheers:

 

[Mace [Is The Stig]]

No one minds that she doesnt like the scene.. But rolling out standard fat old farang and anti BG comments (which may have been an innocent slip as later posts seem to indicate) is not just looking for something else, its making comments and taking a moral stance.. Now it seems like those comments were throw away lines but you can only react online to what you read.. I dont like hearing BG's get put down by farang girls as 99% of the time its some form of jealosy and or resentment often brought about due to the lack of interest and power / control that happens out here..

You say you had to find somewhere out of these scene cause you worried about how a couple of farang girls would react and or if they were comfortable.. This is (in my opinion) just a case of bringing a western mindset and moral scale to this environment..

 

[Coco]

GUYS
wny not lay of eurogirl , she is after all making a valid point and this is an open forum and have we not said in the past that the is not enough ladies on this forum who contribute .
anyhow Eurogirl,after a quick read of your intial post(yes my boss is around)
have you tried using the big theme bars i.e hardrock ,planet holly wood etc etc ?
when i have been in Bangers many a time i have found bars that the b.g scene is not present,even when its right amoungest it , i.e shamrocks bar patpong market, irish exchange Is in Silom, Soi Convent,Dubliner Irish pub. It's on Sukhumvit Rd. between Soi 22 and 24.
aswell as the theme bars.
i can also relate to asking farang girls to pretend to be with me ,done it a few times even in patong just to have peace and quiet.
best of luck to you and please keep posting new blood is always needed

 

[crabbypatty]

I live with a TG, so i know a little bit of what i talk about...
And i dont think it is all black and white. Thats your assumption and is not what i say.
I dont know why you think TG`s are "slaves" that just do as the man says. I suggest you find things out yourself instead of "think" you know how it works...

 

[LYNND]

In the traditional way in LOS, when two people meet they greet each other with a wai(bow). The proper procedure is that the "inferior" person wais the
'superior" person first. Then, in turn, the superior person wais the inferior person. Inferior and superor do on mean that one person is better than the other. One person has a higher status than the other. That is all it means. The words inferior and superior as used here are not meant to connote what we think of as inferior or superiority, but just who is more deemed as higher up on the social ladder. The inferior person shows his respect for the inferior person and the superior person then shows his repspect for the inferior person. Wai-ing is a show of mutual respect.

This is the Thai way. You may know that in LOS, there aren't even words for brother or for sister, but the words are younger bother, older brother, youinger sister, older sister. Even for aunts and uncles, the words for aunt or uncle actually indicate uncle who is older brother of my mother/father or younger, and so on. This is because one's place in the social order is very core to the Thai way of life.

Every time you address someone in Thai, unless it is your buddy/GF, you are supposed to put the word khap or ka at the end of the sentence, which indicates that you are being polite to the person you are addressing. Politeness is at the heart of Thai society, and central to Thai thought.

Establishing the social order makes for a more orderly society in that way of thinking and living. Everyone knows their place. Conflict is avoided. Anxiety is reduced. Life is more simple, which makes it easier for everyone. HUMILITY is still a virtue in Thai society, although Western ideas are eroding it , especially among BGs and those that have close contact with Westerners on a daily basis. In Western society, humility is no longer looked upon as a virtue, and is deemed to be a weakness, closer to a vice than a virtue. Our Darwinian mode of thought says that the strong will survive, and the humble are seen as people who are weak and easily taken advaneforum.xxxe of.

So if a woman chooses to humbly serve her husband, then their is nothing wrong with that. If she chooses to honor him by regarding him as having a higher status in the social order than her, there is nothing wrong with that. It doesn't make her less of a person. It does not mean that she does not have equal worth as a person to her husband or anybody else. It may mean that she is even more worthy, because she has the strength and power to humble herself. It may mean that she is even more worthy because by doing so she creates a stronger and more stable family structure. It may mean that she is a giving person and not a selfish person. Has it come to where we fault a person for having a giving nature, fault them for not being as selfish as most people seem to be these days.

IMHO, 50/50 relationships, as espoused in current politically correct Western thought, are inherently unstable. Every time two people have different a opinion on how to deal with an situation which affects the realtionship, there is the potential for conflict, and there usually is conflict, be it open or unspoken(passive/aggressive). And there is no mechanism in place for dealing with conflict, and for settling issues being contested. A 50/50 realtionship is like a ship with two captains. When a storm approaches, if one captain says turn to the starboard side, and the other says to turn to the port side, then which way does the man in charge of the rudder go. The two captains have to have a conference and negotiate the matter, and often which ever one doesn't get his way will start to build resentment towards the one that does. The simple solution is that one captain is given a higher rank than the other. Then you don't have constant turmoil, but rather a more stable situation and a safer ship.

In the family, the fact that a woman can recognize the value in creating a stronger, more stable unit by allowing the man a higher rank than her, shows her strength and good sense, not weakness. And if you, Liam, want to concede the helm in your future relationships to a woman, then that is fine and dandy, too. For my part, I will be wearing the pants in any relationship I enter into. I will be the captain of my destiny. I've been the 50/50 route; it rarely works, not for the long run. In most, if not all, successful farang relationships, one of the partners holds the balance of power. The relationship is only 50/50 in a nominal way. The 50/50 designation is a pretense, a facade, a hoax. It is a face-saving device for the one who has less than 50% of the power. In the vast majority of successful modern Western relationships, I submit to you, the fact is that the woman bears a greater than 50% share of the power, and the 50/50 facade justs helps the man feel that he is not a wimp, and saves him from being subject to the ridicule of his macho peers.

Think about it. I dare you to tell me that I am not right. Men want sex. It is a big part of the reason they marry. Especially nowadays with AIDS. Women don't do all the cooking and cleaning as they once did. And if you are not getting that service, what does it leave? Sex and companionship, primarily. That is why men enter into relationships. Women are not as horny as men because they don't have testicles and don't produce as much testosterone, which is the horniness hormone. Therefore, many women can and do control men and get their way by trading sex for power in the relationship. Rarely is this done on a quid pro quo basis, it is usually more sublte, i.e., wanting to keep the wife in a "good mood." At one time, the sex power factor was more than compensated for by the power of the purse(or wallet, if you like), but that advaneforum.xxxe has been greatly diminished by women in the workplace and by divorce laws favorable to women.

That is the way it is. Admit it. A first mate is no less worthy a man than the captain on a ship. In many cases, I am sure the shipmates could tell you that the first mate is a better man. But that doesn't change the fact that the captain gives the orders. The first mate takes the orders and he would be less of a man if he didn't. So, in a marriage or relationship, where the husband is the "superior", i.e., has more than 50% of the decision-making power, the wife may in reality be the better person. But, if for the good of the relationship, she lets the husband control the balance of power, then that shows her strength, character, discipline, and dare I say it, her humility. If she is OK with this arangement and agrees to it, then she is more of a woman for it, and worthy of the highest respect from her husband and from society.

BTW, Liam ,if you have children, will you treat them as equals before they are adults, when they are little. I hope, for their sake, you won't. And if you don't treat them as equals, then does that mean that they are not respected human beings.

Your logic is "swiss cheese" logic, full of holes!

JayBee

 

[Staci Lancaster]

IreMark does... :biggrinlo :biggrinlo

 

[thehomeschooledchild]

I think you are so far up your own a*se its unreal (And funny) .

Anyway why dont you try places like Phi- Phi (Obviously when its rebuilt), Koh samui, Koh phangan and places like that where there is hardly any red light district and you will meet a lot of young guys who are just there to party and not to play with the BGs as you say .

I just dont get why you would choose to live in a place thats renowned for it???

PS: You could also try bars like Molly Malones,Scruffy Murphys and a few more bars around nanai that dont have BGs.

PPS: Why am I helping you again????

 

[Matt R]

pm me when you are down Liam, would love to!

 

[Random Hangman]

Defense has everything to do with not seeing eye to eye on something, if I disagree then I defend my position, You say that you like diverse views, but you can not have one thing without the other...it is the ying and yang of things that is where diverse comes from.

So what do you sugest if you don't agree ?

I for one refuse to take a back seat and keep to myself what I believe is correct, it is a choice...my choice. If you call it being defensive..well ok I can live with that...but I will continue to speak my mind when it comes to what I believe is right, I would not allow anything to go unchecked if I disagreed...I am however smart enough to be able to agree to disagree.

Each person goes through life in a different way, some go about things quitely and mostly unnoticed...some choose to stand up and be noticed. I for one think anyone that knows me..knows where I stand and where they stand with me.

 

[damnyankeega]

Just finished reading the entire post now (this is the fastest moving topic I've seen since I've been on this forum). At the beginning of the post LivinLos, people were definately mis-interpreting what she was saying. I think many BM's were quick to assume, ok, here's another farang girl pissing on the bar scene.

And I absolutely agree that having to find a bar where the farang girls felt comfortable is a western mind set. But I would venture to guess that there are a lot of westerners in Phuket who go looking for that back-at-home feel on the odd night. I know we did. I'm glad I now know that there are some places in Phuket town that we'll have to check out on our next visit to LOS.

 

[Zak]

And as a great many BG's do not go with ANY guy merely are more likely to go with a guy or are more keen to find a guy then they do not fit..

I know many BG's who wont go with guys of xxxx race or guys over xxxx years old or xxxx fat or anyone that doesnt take thier fancy.. In fact I would think it would be a rare BM that hasnt had a knock back or two over the times if they go chasing the best looking BG's..

Personally I dont care what terminoligy is applied (as long as guys dont go calling girls *****s to thier faces or being derogatory or rude to them) as I dont give a hoot in hell about pigion holeing someone.. You can call the BG's prositutues / wh0res / whatever you want and it will neither bother me or effect my actions.. Just wanted to point out that by the textbook you wish to throw back many if not most would not fit..

 

[Pompal 09.]

It’s a sad situation where needs and supply’ create its own tourism industry ie sex industry.

Everyone is on the make and those that want a quiet ‘normal time’ have great difficulty .

It usually means the quiet timers must move elsewhere.

 

[divineintervener]

I agree with your third paragraph, that has actually been my own point the whole time.

 

[cusmoter]

Yes I thought I could still spot a tuffie. You most certainly never came across as a push over...pushy maybe..but hey that's cool I know how to push back.

Gday.

 

[Pompal 09.]

Canadian kiddo, you "get me" which is quite nice as you noticed most people have not, though they seem to be coming around. I agree with you that Phuket and Thailand in general are a tourist destination and as such should cater to ALL tastes. The fact that prostitution and bg's are part of thai culture is frankly true but not as it currently is today. As part of my job I need to know quite a bit about the country and I know the history of secondary wives, the role of prostitutes, etc. But NEVER in Thailands past history was it turned into such an industry as it is today, so Geil while I respect you, you must also understand the scene as it is today in certain areas, Phuket/BKK/Pattaya, they are tourist motivated scenes that are modern founded, not based on long thai tradition.

My point is also tied into Canadian Kiddos comment and the comment by LivinLos on on "western view". The men who are on the BG scene are by no means some more enlightened open minded and wonderfully Thai friendly people. They just happen to enjoy an aspect of Thailand that not everyone does. So the same way you can say it is a "Western" perspective to want to go to bars where the scene is not rife, I could also say it is a western persepctive in how many of you approach a Thai "tradition"- hope that makes sense.

I just do not think it is fair to say it is SOO western to have to find a bar without bg's. Thailand is a tourist destination and as such should cater to all tastes, including people who just wanna go hang out no p4p scene etc.If the "Western" men were not there, you really think you would have a gazillion bars with bgs? So this whole, western vs. we are so integrated because we like the bg scene attitude is just unfair, and untrue.

Just to address the comment on HIV in Thailand, I am sorry, but if there is one thing I know A LOT about it is this topic and you are incorrect. Last years rates are not indicative of cumulative hiv rates which is astronomically high in Thailand and despite some good years of reversing the trend, Thailand is slipping now and the HIV rates have begun to show an increase especially amongst the young. It is reassuring to compare Thailand with "just any ole place" but that is wishful thinking, it is just not true. I do not say this to ruin anyones time, I say it because if ONE person we who may have got infected isn't, then I would feel great!

LivinLos, please also do not assume that all farang girls that are not in love with the p4p scene are jealous of the BG's. That is not only grossly unfair but I think largely untrue. I can speak for myself and say that I have absolutely no problem getting attention even in the midst of the hottest bar girls you can find, so it was never about attention or even loss of control. I do not feel I have lost any control here, I do not feel any different here than anywhere else but for the fact that there is a whole p4p scene which can make women uncomfortable. And as for jealousy, it works both ways mate, and I if you come in dressed in a small dress and get any attention, the bar girls go from smiles to being *****es! I can attest first hand to this!!!!! I also would NEVER want to be in any of their positions, whether they love what they do or not.

Well, guess I will be heading to Scruffy Murphys! Seems like there are quite a few places. Keep the advice rolling I am taking notes and than you all!

 

[Yahoo! Answers Team]

I'm Giuseppe from the Netherlands,this year i'm going for the third time to Thailand,second time to Phuket.
Last september my girlfriend and went to Pattaya,but pattaya sucks when you go as a couple.Too many BG's in the nightclubs you can't dance normally,every where are calling me handsome.But this year we're going to Patong and Samui.I've been in Patong in 2001 and it was really great met some very nice and beautiful girls (western)in the banana club.You can dance there normally,and have a really good time.But every disco/club you go you see BG's.
I hope you've got something on this information.

Ciao Giuseppe

 

[ay4uzzxx]

OK livinLos, I have probably a higher threshold than most women. I used to go to banana bar in Amsterdam on a regular basis and go see sex shows at the Moulin Rouge in Amsterdam with a gf of mine etc. It really is just the agressive game I hate. I do not mind being around flirty girls who are out on the pull, I do hate seeing girls scurrying to every man that walks in no matter how he looks and first one there "goes to work" so to speak. It is not that I don't tolerate it, it is just boring to me. To give you an example I saw a hot guy when I was out one night here in BKK. About 10 girls at various times were hanging on him, he eventually got rid of them and came over and spoke to me. I know he was not there for them, he wanted to have a drink and talk to people. Turned out he was an aussie backpacker, really cool and we had a great time. My point is that the whole situation is kind of clouded by that scene and had we just been in a place where there weren't BG's we would have had an easier time meeting. It is just an example of what I mean. not all guys are out for that and for a single girl I would rather be around like minded people than in that situation if you follow.

As for your wife's experience. Tell her not to feel bad, in Dubai the men used to chase me to the loo while their wives sat in burkas and ask me how much when I was exiting the loo. It is just the way it is if you stand out, whether it is because your attractive, different, or whatever.

 

[x-musiclover-x]

Jabee that was enough to send a glass eye to sleep. Just because Liam has not lived with a girl it does not mean he cant see crap when its on paper

 

[leeroy c]

Hi Heywood,

Im afraid im in the 'quiet and mostly unnoticed group' :embrassed Oh how I wish I was a little bit more 'outgoing' :